Monday, July 19, 2010

FuCk YoU

Sometimes when I look around at my life, I think...man, I should be feeling so blessed and sometimes I do muster up some gratitude but then I look down at the sight that is my body, and the negative balance in my bank account and the number of years that I have lived with this depression and think....fuck you GOD!

You are the douche bag that gave me no motivation to change any of this...you give me just enough energy to get out of bed in the morning to take a crap and then go back to bed and worry about how I have no more energy to do the things that need to get done as tension and apprehension flood my every cell.

Thanks God! Good thing I don't actually believe in you.. very often... or you and me would have it out man-o et woman-o for some head to head Trish vs God ultimate fighting championship
i know you are supposed to be all omnipotent and shit and I know I couldn't possibly win, but i would still give you a show down biatch, a run for your money....cause fuck you that's why

You don't exist yet I still blame you...cause I can't even be bothered to try to muster up the courage to blame myself for my lack of energy and enthusiasm....people always say that if they could do it all over again, with the knowledge they have now, they would...i say fuck that shit...after almost 32 years of this shit...i have seen and heard enough...now give me some fucking energy to finish living this life I am supposed to live and let me find a basket full of child-like wonder and enthusiasm at the end of some fucking rainbow and we will call it a truce ok?

The fact that I just wrote this letter to you, shows how badly I have failed as an atheist...guess everyone needs someone to blame for their short comings...and you are the only one left to blame...sucks to be you...and it sucks to be me, except when it doesn't and then it's not so bad
What was the point of this letter again?

Patricia

2 comments:

  1. I think half the christians forget to thank god in the good moments, so why can't we occasionally blame god!!
    Start being proud of the good stuff... At present you make the awesome and excellent choice of getting out of bed to shit, fucking cudos I say. Better than in the bed, substantially better than on the pillow. We will never be he beat we can be, but neither are we the worst. One choice at a time.

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  2. @ scuba nurse nice! i like the way you think. I am always trying to be perfect at everything so it's nice that you say we will never be the best that we can be but neither are we the worst...the middle way...i usually forget!

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